How It Works
For each pillar (communication, core values, lifestyle, emotional intelligence, intimacy, ambition, humor and adventure), you set a 1 to 10 rating for Partner A and Partner B.
Each pillar earns a score from two things: how close the ratings are (alignment) and how high they are (strength). A couple who both rate 9 scores far higher than a couple who both rate 3.
The eight pillar scores are then weighted by importance and combined. A pillar with a gap of 5 or more counts as an extreme gap and costs 3 points.
What you will get
- An overall compatibility percentage and tier.
- Your strongest and weakest pillar.
- A bar chart of all eight pillar scores.
- Growth tips for your three lowest pillars.
What Is the Formula?
Pillar score
- a, b: the two partners' ratings on a 1 to 10 scale.
- |a minus b|: the rating gap; each point of difference costs 12 alignment points.
- (a + b) ÷ 20: the average rating as a fraction of 10.
Overall score
- wi: the pillar's weight from the table below.
- E: the number of extreme gaps (a rating difference of 5 or more).
- The result is rounded and kept between 0 and 100.
Pillar Weights and Gap Penalties
| Pillar | Weight |
|---|---|
| Communication style | 20% |
| Core values and beliefs | 18% |
| Emotional intelligence | 16% |
| Lifestyle and habits | 12% |
| Physical intimacy | 10% |
| Ambition and drive | 10% |
| Humor and playfulness | 8% |
| Adventure tolerance | 6% |
Rating gaps convert to alignment like this:
| Rating gap | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Alignment | 100 | 88 | 76 | 64 | 52 | 40 | 28 | 16 | 4 | 0 |
Compatibility tiers
- 90% to 100%: Power Couple
- 75% to 89%: Strong Match
- 60% to 74%: Promising Pair
- 40% to 59%: Growth Opportunity
- 0% to 39%: Significant Gaps
Worked Example
A couple rates the pillars as follows (Partner A / Partner B): communication 8/7, core values 9/8, lifestyle 6/9, emotional intelligence 7/7, intimacy 8/6, ambition 9/4, humor 7/8, adventure 5/6.
| Pillar | Gap | Alignment | Pillar score | Weighted |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Communication | 1 | 88 | 66 | 13.20 |
| Core values | 1 | 88 | 75 | 13.50 |
| Lifestyle | 3 | 64 | 48 | 5.76 |
| Emotional IQ | 0 | 100 | 70 | 11.20 |
| Intimacy | 2 | 76 | 53 | 5.30 |
| Ambition | 5 | 40 | 26 | 2.60 |
| Humor | 1 | 88 | 66 | 5.28 |
| Adventure | 1 | 88 | 48 | 2.88 |
The weighted scores add up to 59.72. Ambition has a 5 point gap, so one extreme gap penalty applies: 59.72 minus 3 = 56.72, which rounds to 57%.
That puts the couple in the Growth Opportunity tier. Core values is their strongest pillar, while ambition is the weakest and the first topic worth discussing.